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Body Talks

Based on my cycle tracking, I suspect that I may have ovulated last weekend.  I don’t know for sure, mainly because of the timing of my IUD removal and the earlier than expected LMP/withdrawal bleed.  Sunday morning, Husband and I bid each other good-bye and he drove me to the airport.

On Monday, the first day of the conference, I woke up with a stomach ache.  It continued throughout the day and was later accompanied with extreme feelings of anxiety.  I feel like I had a few “good” reasons for feeling anxious about the conference, but this was excessive.  (I should note that there was, obviously, a lot of discussion about pregnancy, babies, and residency, at this conference)

Tuesday, I felt great!  I was going out for dinner with some of the staff from my program, and despite feeling a little nervous, I went out, had a great fondue dinner, including a few glasses of wine.

Wednesday was also a great day, right up until dinner time.  As I was walking to meet my dinner mates, I was acutely aware of soreness in my breasts.  Every uphill step almost felt painful in my chest.  I thought I was overthinking it, but then again, that wasn’t something I experience normally.  Half-way through my sangria, I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to finish it.  I felt sick for the rest of the night.

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting in a conference workshop when I suddenly felt a wave of nausea come over me, completely out of the blue.  It’s been a very long time since I had such bad nausea that I was inclined to leave the room. So began the ingestion of anti-emetics.

Last night at dinner, I felt better while eating my French Onion Soup… Until I got to the second last spoonful and Instantly felt sick.  When my friend’s plate of crab ravioli was placed in front of her, the smell of it made me want to gag on my own tongue. I asked the waiter to pack up my beautiful cheese plate without me even touching it. 

It’s barely been 3 weeks since I had my IUD taken out, and I’ve only been semi-tracking my cycles, but it seems to early to know anything.  Plus, what is the likelihood that I would be That fertile?  Regardless, I can’t shake the feeling that my body is telling me something.  Maybe I’m just realizing a total anxiety or uncertainty about the decision to try for a baby.  Either way, this morning I ripped into one of the 8 uber-sensitive, 5-days-before-missed-period pregnancy tests that I acquired from the conference exhibitors.

I dipped the stick and took a shower while it developed.  I couldn’t decide if I was more anxious about it being positive or negative.  I still don’t know how I feel about my response to the result.  I’m not even sure that I believe the result.

It was negative. 

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