We are here at day #2 of the Autism Assessment. I am feeling a heightened sense of stress and anxiety as I worry that A. won’t get his ASD diagnosis. Each therapist keeps talking about how they can “recommend” services for us to help A. with his many challenges.
Services are great… If you’re a stay-at-home, or even a part-time working mom. But when you’re me – a busy resident working an average of 100 hours a week and 2 weekends a month, I don’t have time to coordinate services! The idea of having to figure out how to get A. all the appropriate therapy and interventions that he needs, while also continuing on in my training gives me palpitations!
Talk about worsening the Mommy Guilt… How am I going to do the best for my child when I hardly even have the time to sit down and eat dinner with him every night? I know it sounds odd to hope for an ASD diagnosis for my son. However, I KNOW that there is something “different” about him, and it is obvious to these other professionals. Unfortunately, for the purposes of diagnosis, he is so high functioning and we have done so many things at home to help him overcome these challenges, that I fear the extent of his challenges are almost hidden.
No parent wishes for something to be wrong with their child. However, I know there is something different about A. and the only way to get him the therapy and interventions he needs means diagnosing him with ASD. I love my son and everything about him – including his idiosyncrasies – these are what make him such a wonderful child. Whether he gets the diagnosis or not will not change who he is; it will only mean that we as a family can get better access to therapy and services to ensure that A. has the best shot at being the best he can be. And equally as important, it would mean that as a busy, working mother, I can ensure that my son is getting appropriate care and I am not sacrificing his wellbeing for my own goals.