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Distraction

This week I have been feeling somewhat distracted.  I haven’t been able to blog much because I just don’t know what I want to say or how I want to say it.  I’m not sure what is causing this distraction – being home more, feeling tired, spending more time occupying my kids, playdates, I don’t know.

Tonight I am going to do my taekwondo promotion test for my net belt level.  I am feeling prepared, but I am also feeling less excited than I did last time.

Tomorrow night I am hosting a party – I am excited to cook and bake a cheesecake, but I am nervous that no one will show up.

I haven’t been running at all this week – well, once on Monday, but it was so slippery outside that I was cautious, my pace was very slow, and I was very sore afterwards.

My kids are driving me a little crazy and I feel more tired than normal.

I’ve been feeling “gross” for a few weeks and I finally went to the doctor last week.  I had about 20 vials of blood drawn and everything came back normal… except for one thing.  High bilirubin.  WTF?

Counselling this week was just “okay” – it seems like I’m making some great progress, but I am sad that means that I won’t be going for much longer.  I need a place to go to talk and feel safe.

As you can see, I’m so distracted that I don’t even know what I want to write about.

2 thoughts on “Distraction

  1. Your high bilirubin is indeed a mystery. You’ll need to update me on that.
    I imagine your distraction is due to the fact you’ve had so little time for so long, that you can’t settle on exactly how to fill it, and that indecisiveness can make you tired even when you’re well slept. My advice is to go with the flow, allow the distractedness, don’t expect anything of yourself, instead just enjoy the lack of pressure. Otherwise, it’s likely that you’ll finally work out how to use this time the day before you go back to work, and you don’t need that!
    Now, shut your eyes and simply breathe.

    Liked by 1 person

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