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Guilt and Chocolate

The word is out.  I officially told my preceptor and the surgery administrative assistant that I will be on a leave next block.  My preceptor replied to my email by saying that he “hopes [I] feel better soon.” Today he looked at me differently than he has over the past two months – I am now this person with a “mysterious” medical reason for taking a whole month off.  The residents are scrambling to cover the call shifts that were assigned to me and that I’ll no longer be working over the next 4 weeks.  I can’t help but feel bad, because it’s not like I “couldn’t” work over the next 4 weeks.

I feel guilty.  I feel like I am taking advantage of something.  I feel like I shouldn’t have agreed to take this break.

Maybe I’ll feel differently after this weekend of call (except that I have to round on Monday morning with the new team that I am supposed to be a part of – uncomfortable?)…

Maybe I’ll just have to visit my patient in the ICU a little more frequently – Maybe so I can remind myself that things can always be worse… but more likely so can snatch a few more of these lovely AWAKE chocolates:

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3 thoughts on “Guilt and Chocolate

  1. Owls and caffeine and chocolate! Love!

    Could it be that he is just surprised to learn you have to have a month of leave because you are a good performer and he didn’t suspect anything was amiss, regardless of reason.

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  2. They have Awake chocolate in the ICU? Sign me up!

    I understand the guilt at the other residents having the pick up the slack, but that’s what team work is all about. I’m sure someday you’ll be able to pick up the slack for someone else. Pay it forward, and all that 🙂

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    1. Someone stole it from me!!! I was so sad! I guess that’s what I get for taking 2!
      I know I shouldn’t feel guilty, I guess I just feel like I don’t really *need* to be taking this time off

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