The word is out. I officially told my preceptor and the surgery administrative assistant that I will be on a leave next block. My preceptor replied to my email by saying that he “hopes [I] feel better soon.” Today he looked at me differently than he has over the past two months – I am now this person with a “mysterious” medical reason for taking a whole month off. The residents are scrambling to cover the call shifts that were assigned to me and that I’ll no longer be working over the next 4 weeks. I can’t help but feel bad, because it’s not like I “couldn’t” work over the next 4 weeks.
I feel guilty. I feel like I am taking advantage of something. I feel like I shouldn’t have agreed to take this break.
Maybe I’ll feel differently after this weekend of call (except that I have to round on Monday morning with the new team that I am supposed to be a part of – uncomfortable?)…
Maybe I’ll just have to visit my patient in the ICU a little more frequently – Maybe so I can remind myself that things can always be worse… but more likely so can snatch a few more of these lovely AWAKE chocolates: