“I am grateful for the last remaining $10 in my wallet. I am not sure how to survive the next few days with that amount but I am thanking the universe in advance for the unexpected provisions that will soon come.”
So far this week has had it’s ups and downs. Even if you just read my two posts from yesterday, you will see what I mean!
Despite the challenges I am facing, I am most grateful this week for understanding and reprieve:
1. I am grateful to have such a supportive residency program. While I am still a little hesitant about what taking a break from work will “mean,” and my husband has been reminding me that I should still remain cautious about what might happen with my program in the future, I am very thankful that I have people in my program who are looking out for me. It is hard to not feel weak and like a failure, but both my program director and my surgical foundations liaison, have been strongly advocating for my health and my well being. Although I do worry that maybe they see that I may not be coping well and they might think less of me for it, I hope that I will come back refreshed and better able to cope. With this in mind, I can hopefully assuage any fears they may have about my capabilities in the future.
2. I am grateful for having a realistic and laid back senior resident. This senior is not the kind of guy who “finds work” for you to do or makes you do something for the sake of having something to do. I will work hard when things need to be done and I will do a good job at everything I do. However, I also like having my time respected. If there is a lot to be done and I don’t leave work until 6pm, then so be it. But, if all the work is done and there is nothing left to do, it’s nice when the senior says, “go home and do something for yourself. I’m here if anything comes up, anyway.” So, because of this nice, realistic, and generous resident, I had an afternoon off to take care of myself a little. I took some much needed time for myself.
3. I am grateful that I have the resources and financial stability to take care of myself and my family. I thought more about this after reading one of the gratitude responses I got from a fellow blogger (see above). I may have a lot of student debt, I may make less than minimum wage if you average my income over my hours worked, and I may still occasionally rely on my line-of-credit. In spite of that, however, I do have the means to buy a book when I want to, or go for a pedicure if I have time, or go for a massage when my half-day lectures are cancelled (ahem… this afternoon), or to buy a snack when i feel like I didn’t pack enough food. I have the ability to bring home sparring equipment for my son (even if it is used and I scoured for it on Kijiji) and watch his eyes light up in excitement. My husband might call this frivolous, but I see it as a privilege, a reward, and something to be grateful for.
“I haven’t been feeling very grateful lately, so I’m finding it hard to think of things — but that’s why they call it “practicing gratitude,” isn’t it. So, here we go: I’m grateful for my health and the huge stroke of luck that had me born into a middle-class family in Canada where I have been given so many incredible opportunities. I’m grateful to have a bed to sleep in at night, for clean water, parents who love me and who continue to take care of me, and some wonderful friends who care about me a lot.”