Last week’s Building Rome challenge did not go very well. If you don’t already know, Building Rome is a weekly challenge about making small goals for yourself and (hopefully) seeing them through. Up until now I have done a pretty good job (I think). However, this week was a little off. I won’t say it was from a lack of trying… completely… but there were some challenges. Here was my list from last week:
1. Write a post for the Stories That Must Not Die.
2. Run 3 times
3. Continue with mindfulness exercises everyday
4. Finish assembling my “thankfulness gift” journal that I’ve been writing in for K (because I’m going back “home” for the long weekend and I’m going to see her!)
5. Focus on the things I like about my new program and city instead of the things I miss about “home”
So, I accomplished 2/5 of the goals I set out. Let me just say, though, that it wasn’t all from a lack of effort.
For #1, I actually sat down a few times to start writing what I wanted to write for Stories That Must Not Die. Unfortunately I just couldn’t get “into” the topic of my abuse. It wasn’t even that I couldn’t get into it because I don’t like to talk about it or revisit it. It was more because I just don’t feel like it is something that I think about or dwell on much anymore. I feel like it’s not a part of who I am anymore (which is good I guess, but also a little bad because it is something that makes me the person I am today). This change made it difficult for me to figure out what to say because I don’t feel like I have the same emotional connectivity to it that I used to. Maybe I just need to come at it from a different angle? Maybe it means that the story has already died? Or maybe it just means that it occupies a different part of “me” now.
For #2 – well I only ran once last week… I could have run twice, and I had every intention of running a second time except that I forgot to bring my running shoes on my weekend trip. I packed everything else: sports bra, shirt, shorts, socks, arm band, headphones… But no actual running shoes…
For #5, I think I might have been doing an okay job of this up until I went “home” for the weekend. It was so great to see my friends and go back to doing all the things and visiting all the places I did before we moved. But it also reminded me of how much I miss it and how much I don’t have that here. While I was away, it was almost impossible to not think about all the things I hated about my new life. A huge part of me didn’t want to come home, and as we were coming hope, a huge part of me felt that maybe I should go back again… at least for a little while.
I’ve been working on this draft for 3 days now, so my goals are a little late and also in progress, I won’t comment on how they are going, otherwise it’s kind of like cheating… But, here they are:
1. Run 3 times
2. Make appointment/visit my doctor to discuss anxiety meds
3. Blog at least 3 times
4. Have more patience with my kids
I’ll let you know next week (hopefully earlier than later) how these all went 🙂