I haven’t been here long enough to feel like I really live here. It feels a little bit like a vacation – in a really nice hotel. I’ve been so busy unpacking, buying and assembling furniture, and “dealing” with my mother-in-law to really appreciate or understand that this is where I LIVE now.
The move went well – as well as it could have, really. We drove out in both cars, each of us with one kid. The truck arrived the next day and everything was unloaded smoothly. The shelf on our BBQ is broken, and the corner of our leather couch is ripped, but we bought insurance… so things could have been worse. Despite my mother-in-law proving, once again, that she (and her BF, for that matter) is quite low-functioning, and her annoying stupidity causing husband and I to fight with each other, she did manage to get the kids out of the house enough for us to get things unpacked and sorted through. Now that she has left, life is a little more stable. I am a little afraid of the stability, however.
Stability means time to think and time to realize that things aren’t what they used to be. It is nice being back in a bigger city, in a bigger house, and looking forward to a new beginning. But it is not nice to feel lonely: It is difficult to walk down the street and give small friendly smiles to the new neighbours and feel like strangers. I had great neighbours that I left behind… some of them were close friends. It’s hard to sit alone at night and have nowhere to go, especially when I spent the last few weeks filling up my days and evenings with “dates” to spend time with and say goodbye to friends. Husband and I, with our two little boys, are currently a small island of four in a sea of a million people. I know I’ve done it once before, and it’s amazing to realize that in seven short years, I went for knowing absolutely no-one, to making life-long friendships with people whom I never wanted to leave. I only hope the same is true for the next five years.
I have one week left of “vacation” before I start residency. I can’t believe that two months have flown by so quickly. In those two months, I feel like I have gotten very used to “doing nothing,” and a part of me is scared about having to go back to working so hard. Hopefully I will feel differently once things get started. I am looking forward to meeting new people, starting a new job, and moving forward in my life. All I have right now is all the stuff I left behind. Perhaps in a week I will have new things to fill up my present life.