Relationships

Mother Visit Bingo!

In a few hours, my Mother will arrive for her weekend visit to celebrate my graduation. In anticipation of this glorious time, Husband and I have spent the morning reminiscing about all the ways she will make this weekend a memorable one for us.  Her comments and actions are so predictable that I decided I would make a game of it all: So, “Mother Visit Bingo” was devised:

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If I was a mean person, I would consider printing this out and handing it to everyone who has the honour of celebrating the weekend festivities with us (including my sister and her fiance – who will add a whole other dimension to the complexities of the weekend… good thing they are staying in a hotel) and offer a prize to the person who witnesses the most “stuff.” Sadly, I am much too nice of a person and I would feel absolutely horrible if she discovered this.  As her “Unspoken expectation of immense gratitude” would suggest, she wholeheartedly believes that she is a wonderful mother who is forever loving and giving and wants nothing but the best for her two daughters (who, by the way, never treat her the way she deserves to be treated).  Who am I to burst that bubble of hers?

I have forever been, and will always be, the most disappointing daughter to my mother.  The weekend of my graduation from medical school will be no exception to that rule (oh, except in the presence of other people, where she is always the most supportive and proud and loving parent anyone will ever see).  For the most part, I have accepted that she will never change, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not hard for me to bear the brunt of her narcissistic behaviours each and every time I interact with her.  I want this weekend to be exciting and special and memorable for what it is – a celebration of my achievements of the past four years.  Maybe the best way for me to do that is to hide behind humour and sarcasm… Maybe not the most mature defence mechanism, but I guess it’s better than nothing!

Maybe, for the purposes of blogging, I will keep a secret tally and come back on Monday to show you all the completed Bingo card.  Maybe it won’t be as bad as I think it will.  I guess we can always hope for the best…

21 thoughts on “Mother Visit Bingo!

  1. “oh, except in the presence of other people, where she is always the most supportive and proud and loving parent anyone will ever see”

    That was the story of my life. I only have high school graduation to look back on, but she threw a huge party…except she had kicked me out when I turned 18 three months earlier. Just shouldn’t mention that to anyone, ha.

    I am sorry you have to deal with family stress on your day. I am so tempted to put together a bingo card for my kid’s HS grad next week…but I am trying to be optimistic 🙂

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    1. Hmmm, maybe our mothers are long lost sisters? I hope the kid’s grad was great, despite the drama… maybe a bingo card would have made it better!

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  2. Oh my gosh!!
    I need to print that out and use it this weekend too. My parents are coming to town for my bday, and other than the Italian curses the Queen and I could have a lot of fun with this game!!

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  3. Its like you are writing about my mom. Congrats on graduating from medical school. You should keep a secret tally to show us on Monday

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  4. Oh my goodness! How did you manage to grow up into a wonderful adult with her as your guide?

    I think this game is a mature way to deal with the situation – you can have a secret giggle instead of getting upset every time she makes a negative comment because you’ll be scoring well on bingo! It’s the only sensible thing to do with such a person.

    She must be a deeply unhappy person deep down – reminds me of someone I know, and there’s no way she would accept that she is in the wrong about anything.

    Congratulations on graduating. I hope you have a fabulous weekend. It is clear to me that you have learnt a lot about how NOT to be a mother. Stay strong.

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  5. congratulations on graduating! and congratulations on accepting your mother as she is, rather than as you might wish her to be, and finding humor in it all. what a great idea to create mother visit bingo. your emotional strength and resilience is impressive.

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    1. Thank-you. It has taken a lot of work to get to the point that I can accept her for who she is. I actually think it made the weekend go way better than I expected (despite coming close to a blackout)

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