Emotional Baggage · Medical School

Don’t need time to change

Yesterday I got my medical school graduation pictures in the mail.  I cringed when I looked at them because I don’t even think I look like myself.

I had them taken on March 1 – almost 10 weeks ago.

There is one very noticeable difference: I still had long hair.  I guess that’s enough to make me feel like I don’t look like myself.  But that is not what I think about at all.

Of most important note – the picture was taken before the match day apocalypse.

The woman in this picture is looking forward to a different future than I see now.  Her smile exudes the confidence and hopefulness that comes with graduating from medical school and having certainty about what that means for her and her family.  This woman has absolutely no clue that the world set out in front of her is coming to an end in 5 days.

On the outside, a picture of me from 10 weeks ago has a different hairstyle and that’s about it.  However, everything inside of me now is nothing like what was inside of me then.  And because of that, I can’s help but feel like the woman staring back at me from that picture is not me at all.

It took no time to change at all, because really, what is 10 weeks… or even one day?

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