When I was 12 years old, I spent a week of my christmas vacation at my dad’s house. All I did for a whole week was watch movies. There was one movie in particular that I fell in love with and watched over, and over, and over again. You’ll never guess which one…
I’ll give you a hint: It’s about a bus… a bus with a bomb.
Yes. That’s right. A 12 year old girl became obsessed with “Speed.”
Maybe it was because of Keanu Reeves, you say? Nope. It was because of Sandra Bullock. In that week, I became obsessed with Sandra Bullock. In some way, she became this woman I looked up to and strived to be like – for a while I wanted to move to Hollywood and become a famous actress… Clearly, I never did that.
For quite along time after that, I watched every movie that Sandra Bullock ever made. I bought any magazine that she was ever in. I wanted to have hair cuts like her, and I wanted to look like her… you name it. Sometimes I even imagined that we were friends, that we’d have conversations, and that she cared about what I was doing in my life (yes, I was clearly a lonely and neglected child).
This full-on obsession lasted probably until I was nearing the end of high school. And while it tamed down, however, I continued to pay attention to what was going on in her life and what movies she was coming out with. Even to this day, I still try to see all her movies… I did see Gravity!
Today while I was going through our crawl space and sorting stuff to either pack or sell in our garage sale, I found all my DVDs. I put most of the movies into the “sell” pile, but I pulled out all of my Sandra Bullock movies. I clearly haven’t taken time to watch any of these movies in a very, very long time, seeing how there were stored away in the recesses of my house. I asked myself why I felt the need to keep them. And the truth is, I couldn’t bring myself to throw away the last bit of proof I have that that part of my life happened.
For many years, I made Sandra Bullock an important part of my life. It may sound silly, or childish, or obsessive, but regardless – it got me through some really tough times. Today I am obviously not as “into” her as I was then, but it doesn’t change the past. After staring at this pile of movies for an unnatural length of time, I finally made the decision that it was time to part with the movies. Whether I continue to possess them or not, or if I never watch them again, it won’t change the past – it will always be with me.
And with that, I took a picture of my little collection and placed all my Sandra Bullock DVDs into the “garage sale” pile.
(And now that I think about it, I think I am missing a few in this picture… Hmm, I wonder where they are???)