Emotional Baggage

The End of an Era

When I was 12 years old, I spent a week of my christmas vacation at my dad’s house.  All I did for a whole week was watch movies.  There was one movie in particular that I fell in love with and watched over, and over, and over again.  You’ll never guess which one…

I’ll give you a hint: It’s about a bus… a bus with a bomb.

Yes.  That’s right.  A 12 year old girl became obsessed with “Speed.”

Maybe it was because of Keanu Reeves, you say?  Nope.  It was because of Sandra Bullock.  In that week, I became obsessed with Sandra Bullock.  In some way, she became this woman I looked up to and strived to be like – for a while I wanted to move to Hollywood and become a famous actress… Clearly, I never did that.

For quite  along time after that, I watched every movie that Sandra Bullock ever made.  I bought any magazine that she was ever in.  I wanted to have hair cuts like her, and I wanted to look like her… you name it.  Sometimes I even imagined that we were friends, that we’d have conversations, and that she cared about what I was doing in my life (yes, I was clearly a lonely and neglected child).

This full-on obsession lasted probably until I was nearing the end of high school.  And while it tamed down, however, I continued to pay attention to what was going on in her life and what movies she was coming out with.  Even to this day, I still try to see all her movies… I did see Gravity!

Today while I was going through our crawl space and sorting stuff to either pack or sell in our garage sale, I found all my DVDs.  I put most of the movies into the “sell” pile, but I pulled out all of my Sandra Bullock movies.  I clearly haven’t taken time to watch any of these movies in a very, very long time, seeing how there were stored away in the recesses of my house.  I asked myself why I felt the need to keep them.  And the truth is, I couldn’t bring myself to throw away the last bit of proof I have that that part of my life happened.

For many years, I made Sandra Bullock an important part of my life.  It may sound silly, or childish, or obsessive, but regardless – it got me through some really tough times.  Today I am obviously not as “into” her as I was then, but it doesn’t change the past.  After staring at this pile of movies for an unnatural length of time, I finally made the decision that it was time to part with the movies.  Whether I continue to possess them or not, or if I never watch them again, it won’t change the past – it will always be with me.

And with that, I took a picture of my little collection and placed all my Sandra Bullock DVDs into the “garage sale” pile.

(And now that I think about it, I think I am missing a few in this picture… Hmm, I wonder where they are???)



9 thoughts on “The End of an Era

  1. I like the idea of taking the picture before letting go of something, no matter what it may be.

    Love Potion #9 was such a cute movie, and I don’t normally like movies like that LOL


    1. It’s been such a long time since I watched that movie. However, I think I am going to have a little movie marathon this week. I doubt I’ll get through them all, but I guess it’s worth a try!


  2. When we sold the house our children grew up in, my daughters helped me sort out the keep or let go stuff. We had the best time taking photos of things from their childhood, photos that bring back the memories just as well as the items do.

    They even took a photo of the unique wallpaper that was on the living room wall.

    It’s so easy to photograph our memories these days – I think it’s a wonderful idea.


    1. You’re right! I never thought of using the photos as a stand in for the actual items, but it makes sense! I should do more of that!


  3. I had those celebrity obsessions when I was in junior high and high school, too – though mine was mainly with Rupert Grint from Harry Potter, haha. It’s hard to let go of the material things that remind you of your past! I’m cleaning out my house, getting ready to move out as well, and I had to say goodbye to a few items too.


    1. Huh. Will you kill me if I say that I’ve never seen Harry Potter? I think it’s a “generational thing.” Not that we are in completely different generations, but I think I was just a little too old for it when it came out.


  4. I’ve always liked Sandra Bullock. She seems like a regular person – someone you could just hang out with. Miss Congeniality is a classic. “World Peace” has become my standard answer to so many questions . . .


    1. I think Ms Congeniality is probably one of my favorite movies! I was actually thinking of having a little Sandra Bullock Marathon before my garage sale this weekend. I wonder if I can handle it: 15 movies in 4 days…


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