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Back to Day 1

Today is Day 1.

Yesterday I wrote my medical licensing exam, marking the complete, official end of medical school.  I now have two months off before I start residency and I have many many things that I need and want to accomplish before I get there.

The first, and probably the most important thing is that I need to get out of my own head and stop feeling sad and sorry for myself about the fact that I have to move.  Yes, it sucks.  Yes, I hate it.  But, it doesn’t mean that it is a completely bad thing.  I have to begin to get excited and motivated to start my new life, despite the sadness and other negative emotions I have about leaving.  I think, mostly, I can do that through Journalling ad blogging, which I really haven’t been doing enough of lately.  As such, I am making it my personal goal to blog everyday for the month of May.  That includes tomorrow.  I have found, in the past, when I blog daily, I have more to say and I get out my feelings and emotions in more creative ways.  I interact more with my online friends, who often give me better perspective and advice than I get from my real life friends.  So, you all have to put up with some daily cranky giraffe for a little while!

The next thing I want to do is get down to work on my “good-bye” gifts.  I am making a select few people some gifts, but the one that will take the most work is the one I’m making for K.  I have two projects on the go for her.  The first, which will take a lot of work, is a three-park cross-stitch set.  They are a set of owls that say “Be Happy,” “Be Brave,” and “Be You.”  They are each 7″x7″ so if I work on them every day, I should have them done before we move in 6 weeks.  The second thing I’m working on is a book/journal that will giver her some insight into the importance she has played in my life as a mentor and friend while I’ve been in medical school.  I’ve slowly been working on this for a while and I am still waffling a little about whether I really should give it to her.  I figure I will just keep making it the way I want and if I feel like it is right to give it to her, then I will.  I’ll keep you all posted…

The other thing I want/need to do is spend some quality time with my kids.  Once residency starts, I will be busy busy and 5 years will fly by with me not always being around.  My plan is to take some “me time” in the day and then pick them up fro daycare after nap – and sometimes even drop them off later in the morning.  I would choose to keep them home every day, but I also need to bring myself back from the top edge of my stress curve – and sometimes 2 and 4 year old boys are not the best way to work on that.

The final, probably the most important, and the least wanted thing that I have to do in sort, declutter and pack my house to move.  That means, garage sale, packing, sorting through memories, etc.  I think this is going to be even more difficult because I don’t actually want to move… and that brings me back to the first goal I mentioned in this post.

So, blogging buddies, help me out on this 2 month journey!  There will be a lot of struggle that I will share.  There will be a lot of happiness I will share.  However, my goal is that when June 16 comes and I have to say good bye to my life here, I will be ready and excited to say hello to the new life that awaits me!

10 thoughts on “Back to Day 1

  1. It sounds like you’ve got some excitement and some challenges in the coming months. Try to embrace them — I know that’s easier said then done, but making it through med school is quite an accomplishment and one you should be proud of. I’m sure if you look back at when you began, you were probably a little afraid of that, too. Now it’s behind you. You succeeded. More success awaits you in your next adventure!

    If that doesn’t work, do what I do — have some ice cream. That always seems to help 🙂

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    1. Mmm. Ice cream…

      As everything in life, this will pass and things will get easier (only to be replaced with more challenges). I know that once i get there and get into a new routine, I won’t be so sad.

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  2. In your efforts to look for the silver lining/bright side/[insert optimism cliché here], I wouldn’t ignore the sad and upset feelings you feel about having to move. Transitions are rough! You have a lot on your plate, and it may do more harm than good to not acknowledge and tend to those feelings before/during/after seeking out optimism. Plus, you can’t really feel happiness if you don’t know sadness, right? Anyway, as always, I admire your strength and determination, and have no doubts “you can do it”. 🙂

    Also, I think that journal gift for K might be a really lovely gesture. To keep with the gushy cliché theme — I think someone once said “people will forget what you look like and what you did, but they won’t ever forget how you made them feel”. Showing appreciation can have a huge impact on someone’s life!

    Can’t wait to read the daily May posts!

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    1. I have been doing a lot of “soul searching,” if you will, over the past few days. I know that I have to let myself feel the discomfort of this experience if I’m ever going to fully get past it. So, as painful as it is, I guess I will let it happen.

      As for the journal for K, I am almost finished it. I have a few final touches to add to it, as well as my opening explanation and concluding entry. I sent it to a friend to look over and she thinks it is amazing. I think I will give it to her!

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