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Sleepless

I haven’t been able to sleep the last few nights.  I have a hard time falling asleep and then after a few hours I wake up and can’t get back to sleep.
I ruminate. And ruminate. And I wish I could just turn off my brain and go back to sleep. I hope this chapter of my life ends very soon.
There is nothing I can do to change where my life is going. I am trying to concentrate on the positives, I just wish I knew how to keep the sadness at bay.

7 thoughts on “Sleepless

  1. (that’s an “empathy” like)

    I wish I had words of wisdom for you. I hope things clear up, in more than one way, soon. ((hugs))

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  2. start doing Yoga!!! It is amazing and will make you become more positive!!
    love knowledge as I do. I started to do some coursera.org on-line courses and really make you think that we have so much to discover and to learn that life is too short to being negative 😉

    wish you the best

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    1. Thanks. I’m not so sure that my problem is “being negative.” I think it’s just more along the lines of mourning something that was important to me. Things will come around for me, I know it. There is a grieving process to everything that comes to an end.

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  3. Ay yi yi… from your past two posts, it sounds like you’ve been having an incredibly crappy time lately!! I’m sorry, girl, and I hope you’ve found rest and warmth since then.

    You’re totally allowed to feel miserable — I can’t even imagine how it must feel to deliberate over something so much and then be blindsided by the not-thought-of, undesired alternatives. I think this calls for some treating yourself (that’s denialspeak for self-compassion) with some ice cream and your favorite movie, if possible. (Though I know you’ve been having tummy troubles…. can I suggest honey nut rice chex or fruity pebbles for a sweet alternative? That’s what I resort to when I want sweets but my gut would rather forgo everything.)

    And just remember…we don’t always end up where we wanted to or intended to go, but somehow, magically, we always end up where we’re needed. Maybe the women at that 3rd choice residency needs someone as enthusiastic and brilliant as you. :o)

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    1. I hope you are right! The more people I talk to, the more it seems that this may actually be a blessing in disguise. However, only time will tell. Here’s to looking forward to all the good things that are to come. As one of my friends said to me: “Congratulations on being chosen for a more competitive position at a better program.” I know she’s right 🙂

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