Match day did not go as planned.
I didn’t get my first choice – my home program – which has really shocked everyone I know.
I didn’t get my second choice, either. So, all that fretting over which to pick first and second really didn’t matter.
I got my third choice. I am still going to be an obstetrician/gynecologist. I am just going to be doing my training somewhere else. I am thankful, at least, that I will get to do my dream job.
I spent most of the day yesterday crying – crying in pain from my surgery, and crying for everything that I will be leaving behind in a few short months. I have a wonderful life here and I am so sad that I have to pick up and leave and there is nothing I can do about it. I have really been trying to concentrate on the positive aspects about it all: I will actually be closer to my family, which was a concern of mine from the beginning. I will be in a better training program than the one they have here, I will have more opportunity, I will be working in a higher risk centre with more to learn, I will be working in a brand-new, state of the art women’s hospital. There are more positives… really. And, I did feel really good about that program when I went there for an elective and for interviews.
Despite all the positive aspects, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ll be leaving behind so, so much. My friends, my mentors, my support network, my dream house, my security, the perfect vision I had for my perfect future here. All of that is gone.
I know, eventually I will make a new home. I know I will be okay. But that doesn’t make this hurt any less.