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Surgery Wimp

I L-O-V-E surgery.  I love scrubbing and gowning up performing the surgery.

Turns out I don’t love surgery when I’m the patient.

I can’t believe how nervous I am about having surgery (and even such a small one, at that) considering that I like to do surgery so much… considering that I want to be a surgeon…

Maybe it’s because I know what’s going to happen… every step of the way:
After I get an IV, they’ll strap me to the table, tell me that the propofol will sting a little going into my arm.  Then they’ll wait until I’m off to sleep and intubate me.  Then they’ll spread my legs and put in a catheter.  Then they’ll scrub my abdomen with chlorhexidine and put up sterile drapes before they make a 2cm hole in the top of my belly-button.  They’ll inflate my belly full of gas and shove a camera inside to look around.  They’ll look at my liver and my gall bladder before they turn the camera around and look into my pelvis at my uterus and ovaries.  Then they’ll start to make the other two port holes they need for their instruments: one two finger breadths above the pubic bone and the other somewhere over on the left side of my abdomen.  They’ll put some atraumatic graspers into these ports and run my whole bowel… In other words, they’ll go over my bowel, inch by inch, trying to find some kind of abnormality.  Then, they’ll get to work at taking out my appendix by clipping off its connection to the cecum and its blood supply and cauterizing it off of all its attachments.  Then they’ll put a little bag into my abdomen, put the appendix into the bag and then pull the bag out trough my belly button.  That last part might sound easy, but OMG, it can certainly be a struggle sometimes!  Then they’ll deflate my abdomen as best they can – with blood splattering out of the incisions as the air makes little farting sounds, stitch up the holes they made, and cover them up with bandages.  As I wake up, I’ll gag on the breathing tube until they pull it out of my throat, and I’ll probably suffer from post-operative nausea for the next few hours after its all done.  Then I’ll have pain… probably more pain than I have now, at least until everything heals.

Sounds fun, doesn’t it!?!

I just hope that at the end of the day I’ll have an answer to all my pain.

8 thoughts on “Surgery Wimp

  1. Well, when you put it that way…

    I have heard with these surgeries to make sure you exercise/stretch your upper arms and shoulders during recovery. Trapped gas travels up and that will help break things up.


  2. It reminds me of when I got my LASIK surgery over Christmas. I’d seen it done before, and so when I was the patient, I couldn’t help but visualize myself from the doctor’s POV, and it made it so much worse!

    You’re going to be A-OK 🙂


  3. Uh well, I had my appendix removed and yep you’ve got it down! (Surgeon you) I am not a physician but a few years after my procedure I forced myself to learn all the nitty gritty details on what was done to me…..and well I was kinda a little horrified. But yeh, the shoulder pain sucked……..though was the only real pain I had.
    Hopefully you won’t be dry heaving post op while having your cath removed and then reinserted 5 minutes later…….woo hoo what a treat that was!
    Take care.


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