It looks like I’m going for surgery. I’m not happy about this and I am still waffling on whether or not I want to have it done. I am still dealing with my undiagnosed abdominal problem, 3 months after the fact. In that time, I’ve come back with normal test after normal test – and I can now add a normal gastroscopy and normal colonoscopy to that list.
Most days I am so nauseous that I have to take the same kind of anti-nausea medication they give to chemo patients just so I can function. I also have a grumbling low grade* abdominal pain that never seems to go away and likes to get more intense at random times in my day or my week.
*I say low grade pain because I have it so long that I am starting to get used to it. When people ask me if the pain is getting better, I don’t really know what to say. I honestly can’t decide if i’m just learning to tolerate the pain better, or if maybe it is improving, somewhat. Regardless, this isn’t really normal and I want it to go away. Anyway, the next step in the problem solving strategy is probably a diagnostic laparoscopy.
I know that if I had a real indication for surgery, like I had raging appendicitis or I needed my gallbladder removed, I wouldn’t hesitate to have surgery. However, surgery doesn’t come without complications, both short term and long term, and I don’t know how I feel about having a surgery for something when I don’t know if it is actually going to help things. That being said, they’re going to take out my appendix while they’re in there, so it won’t be a totally useless surgery if they find no cause for my pain.
There is also the very unlikely possibility that this is my appendix causing my pain. I better not say that too loudly because the majority of surgeons would laugh in my face at the mere mention of a “chronic appendicitis.” I don’t know what I think it of it at all, but right now I am grasping at anything that could explain this pain. As you can probably tell, I am a little desperate to get an answer, but I also want to make sure I am being smart about things.
Right now I have a surgery scheduled for March 4. It’s really not that far off so I have to make a decision pretty soon. Interestingly, over the weekend as I was contemplating not having the surgery, my pain got very intense again and required dilaudid – It was almost back as a reminder that I should do whatever I can to solve the mystery.
I am really torn up about this whole thing… What should I do?