Emotional Baggage

Love Me

“I don’t negotiate with insecurities
They always seem to get the best of me
I found I had to love myself, the way I want you to 
Love me
~Katy Perry

I have to admit: I am a closet Katy Perry fan.  It was her new album that really did me in.  I downloaded it because A (yes, my 3-year-old) is obsessed with “Firework” and I thought he might like some of her other songs and I could stop hearing the same song over and over and over again…

I like her older songs well enough, but they are very gumball pop – which I am not a huge fan of, in general.  But her new album, it is a little more real, a little more wholesome, a little more genuine.  And, it is the words of her song “Love Me” that won me over.  I feel like she has taken something from inside of me and vocalized it in a way that I never would have done.  Then, she took it one step further: She solved the problem: I need to love myself the way I want other people to love me.

I want my husband to love me a certain way, but I don’t love myself that way.  I want K to love me in another kind of way, but I don’t love myself in that way, either.  I am full of insecurities and they are the root of my anxiety, the root of my low self-esteem, and the reasons why I don’t love myself the way I should.  I want other people to love me despite my weaknesses and my insecurities, but that will only happen if I do it myself, first.

No more second guessing
No, there’s no more questioning
I’ll be the one defining who I’m gonna be
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonly
I’m gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me

4 thoughts on “Love Me

  1. I like Katy Perry too.

    I hope you find a way to love yourself again. I went through something similar after the birth of my first child. It can be a long road but something tells me you’ll be just fine.

    Like

  2. This post is such a great reminder that, “Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them”–Brene Brown

    Like

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