“I don’t negotiate with insecurities
They always seem to get the best of me
I found I had to love myself, the way I want you to
I have to admit: I am a closet Katy Perry fan. It was her new album that really did me in. I downloaded it because A (yes, my 3-year-old) is obsessed with “Firework” and I thought he might like some of her other songs and I could stop hearing the same song over and over and over again…
I like her older songs well enough, but they are very gumball pop – which I am not a huge fan of, in general. But her new album, it is a little more real, a little more wholesome, a little more genuine. And, it is the words of her song “Love Me” that won me over. I feel like she has taken something from inside of me and vocalized it in a way that I never would have done. Then, she took it one step further: She solved the problem: I need to love myself the way I want other people to love me.
I want my husband to love me a certain way, but I don’t love myself that way. I want K to love me in another kind of way, but I don’t love myself in that way, either. I am full of insecurities and they are the root of my anxiety, the root of my low self-esteem, and the reasons why I don’t love myself the way I should. I want other people to love me despite my weaknesses and my insecurities, but that will only happen if I do it myself, first.
No more second guessing
No, there’s no more questioning
I’ll be the one defining who I’m gonna be
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonly
I’m gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me