“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”  ~Mark Twain

Interestingly, if you look at how the quotation is worded, it refers specifically to what you “allow” yourself to do.  You take action to make someone a priority in your life, and you also take action in allowing yourself to not be a priority in someone else’s life. Kind of strange when you first think of it.  However, when you really consider what it says, it is evident that you can, actively, allow someone to treat you in a second-rate manner.  This happens, ironically, when you continue to make someone a priority even after they’ve shown you time and time again that you are not a priority for them.  It is all very simple, if you think about it for a second. Why does this matter?  And, why am I writing about it? I have been thinking a lot lately about the priorities in my life, what and who they are, and if I have them all straight.  Am I putting in the right amount of effort into the the right activities and relationships?  I am tempted to think that I don’t.  Not all the time, and not with every relationship, but I can definitely think of a few commitments and relationships that I’ve had recently where I’m not getting out of them what I feel like I’m putting in.  I’ve come to realize that there are three things that happen in my mind when these incongruencies surface: If it’s a relationship, I get angry or disappointed with the person for not reciprocating my efforts, I start to feel bad about myself because I feel like there is something wrong or undesirable about me, and I begin to wonder if there are other people in my life who’ve made me a priority and whom I’ve been neglecting while I chase after my wrong priorities.  Mr. Twain’s quotation really puts all three of these reactions into perspective for me.  There is probably nothing wrong or undesirable about me; it just so happens that other people have other priorities, some of which are, in all actuality, more important than me.  And, if these other priorities aren’t more important than me, then I really shouldn’t be making these people a priority in my life anyway (here we are, back at the action…).  The quotation also forces me to invert the sentiment and think about how people relate to me:  Who makes me a priority in their life, and if they aren’t already a priority for me, why not?  Can I change that relationship in any way to ensure that I am treating the people who care for and respect me in a way they deserve? Maya Angelou “rephrased” Mark Twain’s quotation in a way that completely takes away the idea of personal action.  She writes: