Apparently, I am Wonder Woman.
I should clarify that I do not have long, flowing black hair. Nor do I have ginormous breasts that barely fit into my skin-tight skimpy costume. Come to think of it, I also don’t ever wear a skin tight-skimpy leotard (I’m sorry if that disappoints anyone).
Despite not actually looking or dressing like Wonder Woman, I was told recently that I am, in fact, a Wonder Woman. It all happened when I opened a belated Christmas gift from a good friend and it contained a Wonder Woman pen and pencil; she picked them out for me because “that’s who [I] am.” The whole gift was a bunch of small, random things. However, everything that was in the gift seemed to be somewhat thoughtfully picked out for me. I have now been using the pen everyday since I received it and every time I look at it, it gets me thinking about whether or not I can actually take on the title of Wonder Woman.
Who is Wonder Woman, and what does it mean to be her? Is it personal strength? Physical strength? The (perceived) ability to do everything? Does it mean always keeping it together? Being resilient? Working hard? Maybe it’s a combination of all these things. I’d like to think that these are the things other people see in me, particularly the people I admire. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am really all those things, and sometimes I worry that I don’t even really try to be all those things.
Today is a perfect example: I was assigned to work with an anesthesiologist who didn’t seem to really be into teaching or letting students do much. In the whole day I got to start 3 IVs (and did them all well on the first try) and ventilate/intubate 2 people. It might seem like a lot, but in a day with 5 cases, it’s not really that much. Then, once the patients were asleep/sedated, we had no conversation whatsoever. I resorted to reading things on my iPad, which I normally hate doing in front of my attending physicians. Between cases I texted a friend of mine complaining about how boring my day was, how much I didn’t want to be there, and how this guy probably has no faith in my skills.
To my surprise, however, at the end of the day my anesthesiologist told me that he was very impressed with my skills and my competency levels. He continued on by saying that I did a much better job that the resident he had a few days ago, who was in the third year of a Family Medicine + Anesthesia program. I was completely caught off guard, and also kind of flattered. Without even realizing it, and all while acting like a bit of a snobby student behind his back, I did enough to impress him.
I don’t know what to think of all this. Do I just lack enough confidence in myself? What if I always worked as hard and acted as engaged as I should (because right now I don’t feel that I do most of the time), would I be that much more of a “superstar?” Or, am I just doing the same thing that everyone else does. Maybe my expectations are just too high… Regardless, does all of this amount to a Wonder Woman? And, does everyone always like a Wonder Woman, all the time?