Mommy Stuff

Thanks, Encycolpedia.

IMG_0753These are some snip-bits from the “Usborne First Encyclopedia Series: The Human Body.”

I thought encyclopaedias were supposed to answer questions… Not make more.  I feel like they have really taken a “cut-scene” approach to the whole “where does a baby come from?” question.  So maybe they kind of address the “how does a baby get into mommy’s tummy?” question.  Only, now the question becomes, “how does the sperm get into the mom’s body?”  Hmmm… Let me think about some potential answers to that question:

1. Daddy gives it to Mommy… (But how?)

2. …

IMG_0754

Clearly I’m a little uncreative.  And, considering that the book doesn’t even use the proper anatomical names of body parts (ie: vagina), it makes the whole conversation a little more awkward:  “Mommy, you have a hole between your legs?”  That could possibly lead to other, more complicated questions:

“Mommy, does stuff fall out of your hole?”

“Can I see your hole?”

“How is the hole big enough to fit a baby?”

Maybe my kids will just be those kids who have too much information.  I’ll get notes home from their teachers saying that my kids are “inappropriately” telling other kids on the playground the “real deal” about how Mommy and Daddy make babies… and how this is upsetting other parents.  I imagine sending a note back saying something to the effect of: “Sorry, I’m an obstetrician/gynecologist.  In my house, Mommy has a vagina and Daddy has a penis and that’s how babies are made.  If you want, I can give them more reliable and accurate information.”  And then I will be on the black list.  At PTA meetings there will be whispering and pointing behind my back: “She’s the mom who told her 6 year old about sex…”

Oh dear me.  A. is only three.  I’m probably getting ahead of myself… This encyclopedia is making me fret about conversations that may not even happen for a long time to come.  Either that or I will have to answer the incessant “why?” questions that A. seems so addicted to asking.

In the mean time, I will just thank the writers of this encycolpedia for setting me up for a whole lot of questions that are probably more awkward than the classic “where do babes come from?”

7 thoughts on “Thanks, Encycolpedia.

  1. My 9-year-old nephew informed me the other day that he knows what sex is since he and mommy had the talk already. I didn’t pry into his knowledge of it because it just didn’t seem right so I was like, “Cool.” lol

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    1. Gosh, so scary that we have to have these conversations earlier and earlier. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have that conversation with my parents until well into my early teens.

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  2. When I told my then four-year-old son that I was pregnant with his younger sibling, he immediately responded, “I hope Dad gave a Y this time.” If it means having informed kids, then I’m all for getting blacklisted and whispered about by the PTA. Research shows that kids who are taught the correct terminology for body parts are less likely to be sexually abused and more likely to tell when something sexually inappropriate happens. So, bring on the awkward questions…you are well prepared to give actual answers 🙂

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    1. I sure hope I can give the proper information at the proper times! I’s like to think that my kids will be more confident because of their knowledge.

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    1. Yikes! I’ll have to go check it out when I have a chance! Funny you mention Mother-in-law, because mine is coming into town tomorrow to watch the boys while DH and I go away for a week. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a dog, but she is bringing her new boyfriend and I’m not too keen about it. I should blog about it actually. I actually decided to have the “no one should touch your private parts” conversation with my older son last night.

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