You are my obsession and you consume every part of my being. I want you in every way I can have you. I want to give you in every way I can give you. You, Love, are not easy to handle because whether you are here or not, there is pain or struggle, or joy and happiness. There is never just one way to handle you, my Love.
You surround me in more ways than I know, but I find myself craving you with such vigour that I wonder if I ever even have you at all. When you’re here it never feels like enough, and when you’re gone I know I should have let you be.
You wax and wane; you swell like the tide and you submerge me in your warmth and your heaviness. You are endless and I crave all of you, all the time. I want to constantly feel you spill over every edge of my being so that I know there is enough of you and I’ll never run out. I fear the end of you, the dry cracked sand at my feet, the dryness in my mouth, the feeling of a desert in my soul. And then I obsess over you.
I want to be one with you, to give you with the same fury and passion that I crave you, Love. I want me to be enough for you and I fear I can never be. If I want all of you, then how can there be all of you for everyone? You may be patient and kind, you may always protect and trust and hope and persevere. But you are also challenging; you are demanding and fearful, trepidatious, and restless. You may always give, but you always want more. You are the greatest challenge I have ever had and despite this I Love you. I need you. I always want more. More of you. More of everything.
Are you enough, dear Love? Am I enough for you? Can we be together, in Love, and always believe that there is nothing else we need? For now I will let you embrace me whenever you come. I will drink all of you in and feel your fullness inside of me. I will carry it through to every place I go. I hope that it will be enough and that the obsession you have become is the natural course of how we live out this life together.
There is no way, my Love, that I can not obsess over you.