… This is what my senior resident said to me yesterday.
“You do good work, but its obvious that you don’t really want to be here. My best piece of advice for your level is to try and be good at everything. Even if you don’t like something, just make the best of it and work your hardest to learn as much as you can.”
I feel bad about myself for this. I know I shouldn’t. I know I probably could have worked harder, and maybe it was obvious that I didn’t really want to be on internal medicine. But the truth is, I’m exhausted. I think, no matter what rotation I could have been on right now, I would be less-than-excited to be there. I want to be a good student, I really do. I want to learn as much as I can, but I am also just trying to keep it all together.
And really, how can everyone be good at everything? I know he’s talking about “everything” in medicine, but there is a lot more that I have to be good at too… like being a good mom. It may seem like I am eager to get out of here at the end of the day. But it’s not because I want to get out of the hospital, per se; It has more to do with the fact that I have a shit-ton of responsibility to get home to and the later I get home to that, the farther behind I get. It may seem as though I’m not that interested in internal medicine (and really, I’m not) but the truth is that I barely have enough energy to be interested in my own children… When push comes to shove, I need to expend that energy on my children, I think.
How can you be good at everything? Should I be upset or offended that my resident noticed that I’m counting down the days left on this rotation?
I don’t know if I can be good at everything. Is that fair?
- Riding the Slump (thecrankygiraffe.wordpress.com)
- About Internal Medicine (drranialowewenberg.wordpress.com)
- Why family medicine and internal medicine should not merge (drranialowewenberg.wordpress.com)