So after much thought and consideration, I came to the realization that I could not continue with the “Secret Friend” project. After I blogged about it, I started to just “feel right” that I come clean. I thought about leaving future gifts and I felt as if I wouldn’t get the same level of enjoyment from it because I would fear it would fuel the sense of dishonesty. And let’s face it, I hate being dishonest with anyone, especially her. The most difficult part of this decision was that I like the idea os waiting for a special time to reveal myself because after all this work, it would certainly be a little sad to end it so unceremoniously.
It suddenly occurred to me that I was giving my mentoring speech in a few days and it would sure be nice to let K in on what I had to say about her. I figured that I could giver her something a little special (like my kind words) and at the same time say, “hey, by the way, I’m your secret friend.” So that’s what I did.
Inside the card I included a copy of my speech, and that smaller blue card had her name written on it, in much the same fashion as all the other gifts that I’ve left for her. Inside the smaller card I left the last Starbucks coupon that I had (it said “Good for one ‘Let’s Hang Out'”) as well as a brief explanation of the project: why I did it, why I didn’t tell her at the first opportunity, and why I was telling her now.
My plan was to give it to her in the morning after my last obs call shift because then she would have lots of time to think about it before I would see her again, and if she was going to be mad or disappointed that I lied to her, I wouldn’t have to be there when she first found out. However, I had it all ready to go before I started my call shift and I knew I would see her that evening. I was so, SO nervous about giving it to her, but after talking it over with a friend we decided it was probably best to just get it over with. So I found her in some down time at the beginning of my shift and told her I had something to give to her.
I wasn’t actually expecting her to read it in front of me, but then she just started opening it. I sat there as she read it and I tried hard to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. She laughed a smiled as she read it and then she started thanking me. She stopped mid-sentence to stand up and give me a hug – and it was such a wonderful, genuine moment. I was so happy (and relieved)! We chatted a little bit about the gifts and the time frame, and then about the upcoming long weekend and it was just all so great. While I’m a little bit sad that I’m done leaving the gifts (because, let’s face it, it was a lot of fun), I am pretty pleased with how the whole reveal went. I’m sure there could have been a better time or moment, but I think this worked and it was special in its own way.