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It Always Gets Better

Happy people are almost always the ones who love what they do.  It’s been shown again and again that people who love what they do are highly motivated by their own enthusiasm to continually better themselves and their performance.

I have been falling behind on my one-a-day calendar that was given to me at Christmas.  So today I caught up on about 2 weeks of tidbits.  The above statement was probably my favorite of all the ones I read today.  I can’t say exactly why, but I think it’s because I truly believe it.  I previously wrote a post about lifestyle in medicine and how it seems that people have difficulty realizing that loving your job is part of the whole package.  I think this statement speaks to the point of that post quite accurately.

I try to convince myself every day that I have picked a profession that I will love and that will make me happy.  The past six weeks I’ve been on a rotation that taught me many important lessons in medicine, but I also didn’t really enjoy it that much.  It showed in my levels of anxiety, my mood, and my sheer debilitating exhaustion at the end of some days.  I found it very difficult to be motivated to do anything other than the work that was assigned from me and I barely wanted to study for the exams.  Luckily, that rotation is over and I finally get to try my hand at something that I really, really enjoy: Obstetrics and Gynecology!  Yup, tomorrow we leave to head “home” where I will spend 2 weeks on my much anticipated elective.

Before I left for the day, I had to meet up with K to collect a letter that she wrote for me in support for a travel award to attend a conference.  This week has been particularly difficult for me, in many ways.  As such, I was very anxious and nervous about talking to K.  It seems to be my habit to project my own sense of inadequacy back onto myself through the eyes of the people I hold in high regard.  In this instance, that person is K.  Anyway,  I am mentioning this interaction and her letter because I think it fits into the theme of this post.  K was very excited to see me, she was genuinely dismayed and concerned to hear about my less-than-stellar week, and she could not express how happy she was to provide this letter for me:

LetterEverything is always better than you think, right?  Talking with K immediately diffused my tension and anxiety and boasted my deflated self-esteem before heading into my elective.  And, reading this letter only added to my feelings of elation.  I feel like I need to keep a copy of this letter close by all the time and read it to myself when I fall into my trap of self-depreciating thoughts and emotions.  Deep down I know I work hard and I know I deserve the words that K wrote in this letter; I just need to stop forgetting it!  This was an amazing way to end this horrible week and I will try to trap this feeling of satisfaction within myself for as long as possible.  Hopefully, I can work on making it become my mental reality.

Oh, and as if this letter didn’t make my day enough, I also found out that my appeal over my psychiatry oral exam has been granted and I will get to re-do my exam when I come home from my elective!  Yay!  A great end to a horrible week, indeed.

10 thoughts on “It Always Gets Better

  1. I think you should keep a copy of that letter for those times in which you need a boost. I agree about liking (if not loving) your job. I really enjoy what I do and believe strongly in our mission. It’s been difficult since my org has been dysfunctional lately, but I stay because I love my job. In medicine with the crazy hours and major responsibility you have, you have to love it or else you’ll go insane.

    I’m so glad the week ended well for you!

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    1. Oh, I am so glad I get to re-do the exam… except that it means I can’t kiss psychology good-bye quite yet.

      As for the letter, I might tape a copy of it in the inside cover of my clinical notebook, just so I have access to it whenever I have doubt (is that strange?)

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