I can’t help it.
I thought I was doing better, making progress, going up instead of down.
But here I am, going down the rabbit hole!
It’s so easy to fall, so desirable – but I know all too well what the bottom looks like.
I want it to change,
I want it to be different.
All pretty and pink and purple – exactly like I want.
But I know it can never be that way – it’s too much to expect.
So why am I sitting here, waiting for an outcome that I know will never change?
I really don’t know.
Is it for the glimmer of hope?
To decorate the walls of my hole in kaleidoscope gems?
I make it more difficult, unnecessarily painful,
All for the hope to get something more.
I guess that’s why they call it a rabbit hole?
I need an escape lane. I don’t know how to stop.
Down The Rabbit Hole
The Cranky Giraffe 
Hard to read this one – feels hopeless and despair.
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I think there is some of that, but also frustration with myself…
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Beautifully written!
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Thank-you
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I have been down the same rabbit hole. It seems like there is no way out but there is. Maybe, just maybe you feel the loss of a different life and facing a new one. Give yourself time to grieve the old before tackling the new. It takes time so give yourself the time you need. Take care.
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Thank-you. I think you’re right. I know I head this way when I’m overwhelmed and instead of doing what I need to, I fixate on what I don’t need to.
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You know the bonus of rabbit holes is they have tunnels heading off all over the place including to the surface again. Small steps, think of some little things that will give you a moment or two of relief whether is going for a walk, baking a cake (and eating a slice), watching a film, meeting a friend for coffee….and try to do one of them each day.
Your rabbit hole may never be pretty but you can come back out of it again xx
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Thanks! You’re right! I forgot about the tunnels!!!
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Easy to forget, it can be pretty dark down there if you can’t find your torch!
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Beautifully written – emotionally raw and heartfelt.
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Thank-you
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I just have one question, one you don’t have to answer because you need not explain yourself to anyone if you don’t want to. Why are you in such desperate need to change? Just a question for you to reflect on for yourself if you need or want to.
I especially like the touch of the photo. xo.
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I just mean that I need to stop letting myself fall into old habits that I know are not good for me. That’s what I want to change!
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Curiouser and curiouser.
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You would be… 😉
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Baby steps, lady. This was very ensaddening, but I know the feeling well.
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Thanks, Weebles. I know I’m not the only one…
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