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Crossing a Line

This week I did something that I’ve never done before.  It’s gonna sound stupid, but it’s a big thing for me:

I walked over K’s office to talk to her for no other “reason” than I felt like talking to someone.

Stupid, right?

Well, I am always so worried about being a pest, getting on her nerves, or that she’ll wonder why I bothered to come talk to her.  She’s told me before, that if I ever needed to talk, to just come by and say hello.  But up until this week, I never went to see her without having some real (or fabricated “real”) reason for intruding on her time.

Needless to say (and you probably already knew this), she was more than delighted to just talk with me.  It was the end of the day, no patients were waiting, and there was no rush.  I sat down, she closed the door and we chatted.

There was nothing special about our conversation.  The only thing special to me was that I didn’t show up with some kind of “excuse” to be there with the hopes that a conversation would result.  It was just me, needing to talk – and she was good with that.

I’m always afraid that I’m going to cross a line with her; a line that should never be crossed and that will jeopardize my relationship with her. The only line I crossed this week, however, was an imaginary line that I set up myself.  A line that was put in place by my own insecurities.  It served no purpose.

Crossing this line is another step in the tearing down of my ridiculous walls and boundaries that I’ve set up.  These walls were built to protect my fragile, paper-thin self-esteem.

I guess I’m getting stronger.

11 thoughts on “Crossing a Line

  1. 😀 Yay for getting stronger. I’m a chicken myself too but each time I make little steps towards being a bit braver or read somebody else doing so, I go:

    Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!

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    1. I am glad for these things too! I still have a lot of growing to do, but this is a great start! And as for KM, well I just hope things keep getting better and more comfortable for me (and her)!

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  2. I always find those open ended invitiations the hardest. It’s hard to tell if the people are just saying it or really mean it. So, I understand your dilemma.
    Still waiting to see you on the new site (memyselfandkids.com). Hope you like it.

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    1. Yes! Thanks for understanding! I have been meaning to make it over to your new site, things have just been so so crazy lately! Actually, I am typing this reply for the doctor’s office… That’s how crazy! I will be there soon! Top of my “blogging to-do list.”

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      1. Hope things get to a reasonable level soon.
        I do prefer those specific invitations. For those of us who are on the shy side or a bit uncomfortable soically, you wonder do they really want me to contact them or are they just being polite. Well, at least that is often how I feel.

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