I’m trying to relax. Trying to pay more attention to my body. Trying to identify what is stressing me out and making me anxious.
There are some obvious things: School, being a mom, balancing these two roles, lack of sleep, getting sick…
Then, there are some less obvious things: the end of breastfeeding looming, extra-curricular activities that I choose to do, finances, not wanting to gain back all the weight I lost, my relationship with my husband, pleasing my husband…
Today I spent the day with my family. We went out for breakfast (my choice) and we had a great time. We did some shopping, ran some errands, and when the boys took a nap, so did I. I’ve started reading a new book. But despite all my efforts, the nausea persisted. I tried to break the cycle of worry and anxiety surrounding the feelings of nausea, but I wasn’t that successful.
After dinner, I decided to go to a walk-in clinic and ask for a more reliable (powerful) anti-emetic that would be more appropriate for me than Gravol. I figure this could hold me over until I can get to my own doctor, talk things through, and make a more long term plan. A. wanted to come with me, so we packed ourselves up and left.
Thankfully the clinic wasn’t busy and we were in and out (with the medication) in no time at all. We headed over to Walmart so A. could buy a car with his “pennies”that he got today for being a good boy/peeing on the potty/listening… While there I saw a bin of cheap movies and right on top was the Steve Carrel movie “Crazy Stupid Love.” DH and I really enjoy Steve Carrel so I thought it would be nice to come home and suggest that we have a movie night together.
That thought led to me wanting a “treat.” Despite my underlying nausea, I immediately decided to get myself my utter splurge food: McCain Deep and Delicious cake. But I didn’t. I walked as fast as I could away from he frozen food section, right to the checkouts. And, I was about to turn around and go back, I saw the cereal isle. I decided to get a yummy “healthy” cereal: Special K Red Berries. I never get it because it is always so expensive, but it was on sale! Bonus!
I get home all excited about my decisions and my attempts to relax a little. Very excitedly, I show my loot to DH:
“Look, Honey. I got us this movie! I thought we could watch it tonight, you know, have a little quality time together… that’s different from the other kind of quality time…”
“Oh, you mean instead of sex?” (Dripping with disappointment)
“Yes. I’m sorry that I haven’t been feeling good lately, but I thought this might be a nice alternative…”
“Oh, and look what else I got! I wanted a treat but instead of getting cake I made a healthier choice and got this!” (Holding up the cereal box)
“That wasn’t like six bucks, was it???”
“No, it wasn’t. It was three bucks.”
And all deflated, I walk away.
Gee, honey, watching a movie tonight sounds great! Oh, and I’m so proud of you for making such a good decision to buy something healthy for a treat instead of cake! Great Job!”
- The Nauseous Life I Live (thecrankygiraffe.wordpress.com)
- Cold Cereal, Cake, and the Layers of Functional Communication (theconnorchronicles.wordpress.com)
- Dear Control Freak Wendy…You Got This! (twisteddomesticgoddess.wordpress.com)
- Dear One, Don’t Stop Chasing that Dream (thebosomcupboard.wordpress.com)