I have felt nauseous all week. For two days there was legitimacy to the feeling: I had some gastro bug. But the rest of the time, my body has just been cruel to me. I think I speak for most people when I say this: I hate feeling nauseous! I hate it so much that lately I have been popping Gravol like they are candies.
I was experiencing some nausea before Christmas for quite a while, too. I was worried that there was actually something legitimately wrong with me (I’m a med student, so I’m pretty sure any symptom I have is serious) so I went to the doctor for some blood work. Normal. Pregnancy test – Negative (THANK GOD!). I chalked it up to stress. And, now it’s back.
DH asked if I’m pregnant (why does nausea always equal pregnancy?) He’d have to have some pretty amazing, high quality sperm if I got pregnant with and IUD, while breast feeding, and with the relative lack of action that we’ve had lately…
Most likely it’s stress. Anxiety… yup, probably. I was kind of self-diagnosing myself with symptoms of a generalized anxiety disorder over the last few weeks while on outpatient psych. But like I said before, I was feeling quite a bit better for a while! Then this week hit.
I just happened to get assigned to a resident who is a little too anxious (he literally sweats anxiety) and who has poor time management skills. I didn’t get a lunch break once this week, despite all my colleagues having plenty of time to pee, let alone eat. I also lost out on valuable pumping time, so my milk supply is down in the dumps with the likelihood that it will never come back enough for me to continue breast feeding E. during the day when I am at home. That is the first step to him weaning off the boob and I know I’m not quite ready for it yet. This is probably a major source of anxiety that I’m experiencing subconsciously.
And then, as I pop my second Gravol of the evening, sit down with a cup of diet ginger-ale to sip ever so slowly, and complain aloud that I am beginning to wonder if I’ll ever feel good again, DH agrees: “I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll ever have a sex life again.”
Yes, that makes me feel better.