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Over the Weather

The last few weeks have brought me some wonderful “high” moods and feelings of excitement.  Maybe it was the novelty of starting clerkship, or maybe it was because I had a great preceptor on outpatient psychiatry, or maybe it was that I was just beginning to feel better, all around.  Unfortunately the feeling has not persisted and I am back “under the weather.”

I would say I’m under the weather in more ways that one.  I definitely am in the proper sense of the term: I’ve fallen victim to the nasty gastro bug that’s been going around and I had to cancel the last half of my call shift last night because of it.  But, poor little A. has it even worse.  For 12 hours he was letting it out violently – on both ends.  That marks the third case of gastro for him in just as many months!

My mood has also been under the weather and I’ve been feeling grumpy, cynical, and unmotivated over the past few days.  I think it’s mostly because I am not really enjoying my time on child psychiatry.  I don’t think I’m cut out for it because I don’t have enough empathy or patience to deal with the problems (and the usual lack of insight) that comes along with the underdeveloped frontal lobe of hormonal adolescents.  That being said, I’m glad people are able to do it, because I certainly cannot!

The weather has also been unforgiving and stupid cold… wind chills in the mid -40’s.  Yeah, give me a break!  I’m so sick and tired of having frozen toes, fingers, nose, thighs, you name it, from walking outside for 3 blocks.  Quite literally under the weather…

I’ve also started to feel lonely, inadequate and over tired again; and while it’s probably a result of some of the other things I’ve mentioned, I can’t be so sure.  Either way, I need to find out how to stop being so under the weather in every aspect of my life.  It’s funny how this down week has arrived pretty much on “blue Monday,” the saddest day of the year.  Maybe it’s ironic, maybe it’s not, but I want my happy self back… the self that was here just a few days ago.

Here’s to hoping that kicking this virus, and getting a few good nights sleeps, and getting off child psychology will make things feel a little over the weather instead of under it.  It’s time for this low streak to end before it gets too long!

6 thoughts on “Over the Weather

  1. Usually no one is cut out for child psychiatry. That’s why more often than not, those adolescents end up in and out of adult psychiatric facilities when they’re of age. It’s amazing how little credit is given to teenagers who can have serious mental health problems. It’s a shame.

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  2. Postscript: I have worked in customer service forever it seems. A tip I thought I would share with you, because in your field you are most likely going to cross a few people you find yourself lacking empathy for, I would imagine how I would want a close family member or friend of mine to be treated. I call it faking it until I feel it. The only time I had to throw all empathy or compassion aside was with opiate/speed addicts (rx). People blaming me for their insurance expiring or not picking up the tab, I had to fake it. Because a lot of the time, it wasn’t only the insurance that was bothering them. You’ll be out of your non-comfort zone soon, but I felt like blabbing the most likely unnecessary tip anyway. 😀

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    1. CB, I actually try to follow this advice all the time. With adolescent mental health, however, I just can’t seem to do it as easily. I know it sounds harsh but I spend most of my adolescence and young adulthood growing up with a sister who has a borderline personality disorder. As much as I love my sister, sometimes I couldn’t handle her crap, so how could I expect some random stranger to do it (I know, it’s their job).

      Anyway, I get what you’re saying. Mental health deserves a lot of attention, but it needs the attention of people who really, really care and who have endless patience… Sadly, that’s not me (well, the patience part, anyway).

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      1. I don’t believe a person has to have “endless patience” to “handle” a person with a mental health condition, ironically, such as myself. I understand living with someone who has a mental disorder or personality disorder is very difficult, but actually being the person with the disorder and having to see the struggle you cause is also pretty shitty to put it lightly. I don’t mean to make this personal. I understand the psych stuff is not your forte and thankfully you recognize that, some people go for it not realizing they aren’t meant for it and tend to be pretty wretched at it.

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    1. Thanks, Julie! Me too! I was actually planning to sleep most of the weekend. However, I was just informed today that I have to make up my missed hours of call this Sunday. Yup. Thanks for the notice…

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