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Friends off, Peppermint!

The Offending Agent

DH got a set of Peppermint body wash and body lotion for Christmas.  It’s kind of funny because my husband is so not “that guy.”  He uses the cheapest soap that I let him buy, whatever shampoo happens to be on sale at costco, and that’s it.  Naturally, he gave me the body lotion (since I am a woman and seemingly obsessed with all things body lotion and candles).  He did, however, decide that he would give the body wash a try.

So tonight, once the boys were in bed, I decided to hop in the shower.  DH joined me, because let’s face it, both boys are asleep and both of us are home… You get the idea.  I asked DH if he liked the new body wash and he said it was “interesting.”  When I asked him what he meant by that, he started to wash my body with it.

It was great!  So nice and cool, tingly and refreshing; it nicely juxtaposed the fabulously hot showers that I love to take.  I was kind of in heaven!  I suddenly remembered the matching body lotion that was so idly sitting on my bedside table, just waiting to be used.  I told DH how excited I was to try out the body lotion when we got out of the shower.

I immediately dried off and ran to my bed to start applying the lotion.  I got about half-way up one leg when DH came up beside me and said, “I thought you wanted me to put that on you.”  I kindly laid naked on the bed – There is only one reason DH ever offers to put lotion on my entire body.

DH was meticulously putting lotion all over the front of my body when I started to get the cool, refreshing, tingly feeling over my legs and feet (the areas he started with).  I was starting to get really cold by the time I flipped over for him to put it on my back.  The bedsheets felt like ice against my skin and I wanted to shiver.  By the time he was finished putting the lotion on my back, I wanted it to be over.  My whole body felt like it was thrown, naked, into the -30 deep freeze outside.  I wanted so badly to put my pyjamas on to warm up.  In an effort to not ruin the mood, however, I asked DH to come under the covers with me to warm me up.

Bad Idea.

Anything and Everything that touched my skin felt like ice: The bedsheets, the blankets, DH, his hands… Everything.  Anything I touched with my hands felt cold.  I thought, for sure, my fingers were going to become hypothermic – I almost couldn’t feel them anymore!  I was shivering more than I have ever shivered in my life (except for maybe way back before I could drive and I had to wait for the bus in our arctic climate).  DH was laughing at me.  I wanted to give him “the look,” but I couldn’t, because that would have meant I’d have to move and I’d re-experience the icy-cold feelings of everything contacting my skin… again.  DH joked that it was his plan to use the lotion to get me so close to him…

We laid perfectly still and intertwined with the blankets up to our chins, with me trying to steal his warmth and us breathing in the aroma of peppermint for a good 15 minutes.  DH finally realized that things weren’t going to proceed as planned, and my overly cooled sensation was turning into more of a cool burning.  I decided I needed to change my strategy.  So, I bolted up out of the bed and raced as fast as I could to put on my pyjamas.  They were ice cold against my skin – I felt like every single cold temperature receptor on the surface of my body was overly-sensitized and anything that touched me sent a message to my brain that said “COLD!”  I quickly wrapped my housecoat around myself and tried to ignore the coolness.  And, now I am blogging all about this experience while wrapped up like a hobo, sitting infront of the gas fireplace, and drinking a HOT decaf coffee.

Um, No! DO NOT apply all over body!
Um, No! DO NOT apply all over body!

I was about to throw the rest of the bottle away.  However, now that the cool burning sensation has sufficiently subsided, I’m beginning to realize that the lotion is quite invigorating… if used in small amounts.  I think I might keep it, but seriously restrict its usage to small areas of the body, like my feet and calves after a long hard day on my feet.  That sounds nice.  I will, undoubtably, refrain from using the loting all over my body ever again.  And, I certainly will never use it again when the boys are asleep and both DH and I are home… for fear that it may get in places that I really don’t want it to go!

9 thoughts on “Friends off, Peppermint!

  1. I hate that icy/tingly lotions! Same thing happened to me actually, only it was on my back, shoulders, and rear. Ruined the mood that’s for sure. I am cold naturally, don’t need help.

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  2. SOO funny!!! Poor guy, haha!! Oh, I guess poor you, too 😉

    Reminds me of the time my boyfriend was massaging my back with some “sensual oil” and I broke out into huge hives. I guess I was allergic to it, oops! That put an end to things REAL quick 🙂

    Like

    1. Oh No!!! Hives are much worse than what I went though, I’m sure! But then again, mine was all over my body… Nope, I think hives is still worse!

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