I feel like my body is re-living the stress it has endured over the past two weeks, but in reverse… really fast. LIke rewinding through a movie or on the PVR, you can still see everything that’s happening, but it’s just going faster than usual. That is me right now.
Yesterday afternoon, right after I finished blogging, my IBS started to act up. I think I sat on the toilet for about an hour with insane cramps and very little action. This happened to me for about a week, probably a month ago. Then, as I was driving to get the boys, my shoulders and arms started to ache and pains were shooting down into my hands. My muscles were in a crazy spasm and I couldn’t do anything about it. This has happened a few weeks ago too, and has been ongoing. That finally subsided, but it was replaced with a horrific stomach ache – the anxiety type – just before we were leaving for the Chinese food/wine feast. I was quite disappointed, but I didn’t let that ruin my night. I’ve also had my fair share of crazy anxiety stomach aches over the past few weeks. When we got home from dinner, I just collapsed. I did nothing and just went to bed. Upon waking up (for the first time) this morning, every muscle in my body was sore. I felt like I had been hit by a semi-trailer. I probably have… a semi-trailer full of stress, cortisol, adrenaline, and any other hormone you can think of. And now my body is in withdrawal I hope after today, it will be over…
This morning, I woke up at 11:00. I really woke up at the usual time to help DH get himself and the boys out of the house, but then I went back to bed. Today is the only day I get to sleep in: I bargained with DH that if he gave me ONE day to sleep in, I would drive the boys to the dayhome for the rest of the week so he can get into the office earlier and *hopefully* get more work done.
I told myself I was going to start going to the gym again today and that I was going to go every day this week. I am still in my pyjamas and I have to leave soon to pick up the boys. I couldn’t decide between swimming or running, but I can still do either of them tonight, after the boys are in bed.
But, who am I kidding, anyway? I’ll probably be baking. I spent a good portion of my (very short) day sitting on the couch, shelling pistachios (because I’m too cheap to pay extra for the shelled ones) for some biscotti I want to make, while catching up on Grey’s (I watched two episodes and I still have one more). Then around 2:00 I decided I better get cracking and “tidy up” the kitchen and living area so that when DH comes home, he won’t vocalize his confusion about WTF I did at home all day, without the kids.
Sorry that I didn’t clean the house dear… I just spent the last 2 weeks of my life killing myself to pass exams. Sorry that I didn’t take a day to recuperate from the sheer exhaustion.
I figured he probably wouldn’t appreciate the sarcasm and I don’t feel like having to deal with a grumpy husband all night. So tidying up was easier.
I thought I might still make it to the gym, but the tidying took longer than I budgeted for. It has pretty much been blizzarding the whole day (at least for the time I’ve been awake) and I know that my crappy city has done nothing with the roads in response to this snowfall. *Sigh* Instead of the quick 15 min drive it takes to get to the dayhome, I now get to spend the next 90 minutes in fantastic winter driving conditions to go pick up the boys. I can already feel the anxiety. I think a trip to Walmart for some shopping fun and chicken nuggets for A. sounds like an easy way to diffuse some of that anxiety.
So here I am, blogging instead of going to the gym. Oh well, I deserve a break, don’t I? I should, however, really get myself in gear because that snow is still falling and those boys are still waiting to be picked up!