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Stress Reversal

I feel like my body is re-living the stress it has endured over the past two weeks, but in reverse… really fast.  LIke rewinding through a movie or on the PVR, you can still see everything that’s happening, but it’s just going faster than usual.  That is me right now.

Yesterday afternoon, right after I finished blogging, my IBS started to act up.  I think I sat on the toilet for about an hour with insane cramps and very little action.  This happened to me for about a week, probably a month ago.  Then, as I was driving to get the boys, my shoulders and arms started to ache and pains were shooting down into my hands.  My muscles were in a crazy spasm and I couldn’t do anything about it.  This has happened a few weeks ago too, and has been ongoing.  That finally subsided, but it was replaced with a horrific stomach ache – the anxiety type – just before we were leaving for the Chinese food/wine feast.  I was quite disappointed, but I didn’t let that ruin my night.  I’ve also had my fair share of crazy anxiety stomach aches over the past few weeks.  When we got home from dinner, I just collapsed.  I did nothing and just went to bed.  Upon waking up (for the first time) this morning, every muscle in my body was sore.  I felt like I had been hit by a semi-trailer.  I probably have… a semi-trailer full of stress, cortisol, adrenaline, and any other hormone you can think of.  And now my body is in withdrawal   I hope after today, it will be over…

This morning, I woke up at 11:00.  I really woke up at the usual time to help DH get himself and the boys out of the house, but then I went back to bed.  Today is the only day I get to sleep in: I bargained with DH that if he gave me ONE day to sleep in, I would drive the boys to the dayhome for the rest of the week so he can get into the office earlier and *hopefully* get more work done.

I told myself I was going to start going to the gym again today and that I was going to go every day this week.  I am still in my pyjamas and I have to leave soon to pick up the boys.  I couldn’t decide between swimming or running, but I can still do either of them tonight, after the boys are in bed.

But, who am I kidding, anyway?  I’ll probably be baking.  I spent a good portion of my (very short) day sitting on the couch, shelling pistachios (because I’m too cheap to pay extra for the shelled ones) for some biscotti I want to make, while catching up on Grey’s (I watched two episodes and I still have one more).  Then around 2:00 I decided I better get cracking and “tidy up” the kitchen and living area so that when DH comes home, he won’t vocalize his confusion about WTF I did at home all day, without the kids.

Sorry that I didn’t clean the house dear… I just spent the last 2 weeks of my life killing myself to pass exams.  Sorry that I didn’t take a day to recuperate from the sheer exhaustion.

I figured he probably wouldn’t appreciate the sarcasm and I don’t feel like having to deal with a grumpy husband all night.  So tidying up was easier.  

I thought I might still make it to the gym, but the tidying took longer than I budgeted for.  It has pretty much been blizzarding the whole day (at least for the time I’ve been awake) and I know that my crappy city has done nothing with the roads in response to this snowfall.  *Sigh*  Instead of the quick 15 min drive it takes to get to the dayhome, I now get to spend the next 90 minutes in fantastic winter driving conditions to go pick up the boys.  I can already feel the anxiety.  I think a trip to Walmart for some shopping fun and chicken nuggets for A. sounds like an easy way to diffuse some of that anxiety.

So here I am, blogging instead of going to the gym.  Oh well, I deserve a break, don’t I?  I should, however, really get myself in gear because that snow is still falling and those boys are still waiting to be picked up!

5 thoughts on “Stress Reversal

  1. You poor thing! Now I know how not to have a grumpy significant other. I became very bitter in my last relationship because it eventually ended up where I had to clean the 4 bedroom house all by myself and he’d stopped helping. My solution was to clean less and add more snark. He was a lot more grumpy toward the end of our relationship. In my world if both work outside the home both are responsible for inside the home. He wanted to just lay around, well so could I.

    Sorry. Venting. Hope your stress and anxiety ease up!


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