My mother-in-law offered to come out and “help” us with the boys while I write my exams this week. I was vehemently opposed to this offer and left it up to DH to decide. I informed him that he would see even less of me if she was here. Her idea of help: rile up my two-year old, maybe do a few loads of laundry in between, and then complain that she didn’t come out here to “work.” Last time she was here, she seemed to forget that there was also a baby to take care of. Her “helping” would be old after about 2 days and then she would just be another thing to worry about.
Some classic MIL lines:
“I didn’t take time off work to wake up early every day…” Um. Then don’t come visit the house with two kids under age 3
“What do I look like, your maid?” Um. Your son and his wife are both students, they have two kids, and their house looks like a tornado has gone through it… all the time. When you come to “visit,” your help is required appreciated.
I could go on…
Needless to say, DH decided that he would kindly decline his mother’s offer to “help” us during this ridiculous time.
I thought I dodged the horrible, unwanted visitor bullet…
But then Flo arrived. Yes. Flo. Darling Flo. What better time to arrive than during the worst stress of my life. Makes sense?
Flo also brought her even more despised buddy, Herpie. He tried to come earlier in the week and I smacked him hard with drugs. Apparently, my trigeminal nerve houses some super-potent herpes virus, because he came back… with a vengeance: Despite the super potent pharmacologic intervention, he poked his nasty head out again. I hammered him some more and he seems to have chilled out a little. I guess he’s happy because he managed to make a small mark on my face this time around.
So, here I am: First day of exams, bloated, cranky, achey, bitchy… I want chocolate. I want soft, delicious carbohydrate, and I’m surrounded by all this Christmas deliciousness (but I don’t want to gain back all that baby weight I just finished losing). I also have a herpie on my face. Perfect.
Maybe my MIL would have been a better choice…
The Cranky Giraffe 
I love how you talk about Herpie like he is a distant relative from some questionable side of your family. Sorry, I’m trying not to make it blatantly look like I am calling you out on something here. I’m just used to dealing with pharmacy patients who act like they are on some sort of top secret mission when dropping and picking up their high grade pharms for it. I have the Human Pap (guess that’s as cool as it’s going to sound) which I don’t need meds for, but I do get clearance to get poked and prodded more often. That is always fun.
LikeLike
Oh, believe me Babe, I was very very dismayed when I got this horrid infection well into my 20’s. I felt so dirty. I don’t like to think that I have herpes… sounds so bad! As for you… all that poking and prodding… sucks. If it makes you feel better, 90% of people get infected with HPV in their lifetime 🙂
LikeLike
Ouch! Your MIL looks like she’s a joy to have around. My MIL is the exact opposite but still as annoying. She will refuse to visit because ‘she doesn’t want to be a burden’. Will not eat or sleep or sit at our house. And will proceed to go around and move everything to ‘tidy up’. Which means I have to clean, cook and tidy promptly otherwise I’ll be made to look like a lazy slob who lets her MIL do all the work.
LikeLike
Oh dear… That sounds like something MY mother would do if she was a MIL to a son’s wife. Lucky for the women of the world… I have no brothers! (I suspect it is the in the Mediterranean blood)
LikeLike
Or maybe it was the American Missionary school that my MIL went to as a child? Who knows. All I know is it’s extremely annoying and your mother is lucky she doesn’t have a son. Or maybe the one who’s lucky is the would-be-son’s wife? 🙂
LikeLike
Hm… I think I’d take ALL of those things over my quasi-MIL any day!!! LOL
LikeLike
haha! As I was writing I wat thinking that at least these other things are only mildly bothersome and will only last a few days… MIL in my house for a week… That’s hard to lose against!
LikeLike
Yuck your MIL sounds like someone you want to lose. It’s a shame she won’t be more helpful.
Good luck getting through it all with Herpie and Flo.
LikeLike
Thanks! I think I’ll make it through okay! As for the MIL? Well, it comes with the territory, yes?
LikeLike
My MIL passed after my wife and i were married just a couple of years. She was a decent woman.
My mom comes and is very helpful for the most past. I think my wife would tell the same story.
LikeLike
That’s great to hear! I hear of some people who have wonderful MILs and I am envious! Like you and your wife, DH and I are very much on the same page when it comes to our opinion of his mother…
LikeLike
Well, at least you are on the same page. Arguments about each other’s family can get ugly.
LikeLike
Ugh. Your mother-in-law sounds so much like the ones my friends complain about. Why wouldn’t she be HAPPY to help you around the house, and help out with the grandkids. I just don’t get it. Sorry for your rough day!!
LikeLike
Haha! Thanks! It was okay in the end… It always is! And, at least I got to go home to a house free of my MIL!!!
LikeLike